ABSENCE Image

ABSENCE

Things are going well and then there is a crash.  All of a sudden something horrible happens. For example,  You lose your job; Your Love leaves you; A parent passes on; A serious medical issue arises with you or a loved one; … whatever. The unexpected occurs and one’s life is seriously disrupted.  What to do? How to move forward?

Of course, one would expect that there is a difference in such situations that are of a physical nature versus those that deal with one’s mental wellbeing, or the worst- both. With either I have realized personally an interesting conflict as one gets older.  That is, one can expect with increasing age that the physical issues especially become both more numerous and more serious as to self. But then again, at some point, say the age of >70, the reaction is more subdued than when younger. As one ages, I have found that the acceptance of physical mishaps is to be expected and accepted, and one understands more realistically that THIS IS LIFE.  But, for the non-physical mishaps there are a phethora of manageable means to deal with such grievances that are in one’s personal control (if one is willing) such as counseling, having loving friends, getting a Golden Retreiver.

At 74 I have been most fortunate to have not suffer the loss of any immediate family, other than the obvious of my parents … and a brother very distant to me, granted.  Additionally, I have not been subjected to medical issues that were not manageable. However, over the years I have lost friends stemming as far back as the Vietnam action. The passing of those individuals has and will continue to affect me directly, but in a different way than would be that of my family.  They are surely missed, but their passing also has a direct effect on my selfish thinking of my own wellbeing. Friends are chosen and loved for their who they are. Family is not chosen, and the responsibility of blood is inherent in our nature. 

Recently, a most dear friend had passed. I truly loved this man, and I feel his loss so deeply. Oddly, in this case contrary to my statement above, I do not relate my selfish concerns of myself to this passing. Rather, I am just so sorrowful for not having his presence again and for the grief of his family.

Why did I make this posting? Is it guilt since I have been so blessed so far as to my personal Loves? NO! It is due to the several shots of Bourbon to chase the glasses of wine and my feeling of remorse to think of my Mom and my Dad. Of course, that is not your issue, but you have your own that you may need to reflect on more frequently than you do. This is not a point of being sad now, but rather of recognizing when sober, or not, that you have Loved and been LOVED, and you are moving forward in that absence.

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